Baby don’t hurt me

That’s the story of our lives. “Baby don’t hurt me no more”. No one wants to go through heartbreak but it’s inevitable. I have myself, I knew ahead of time that a relationship was bound to fail. For me it was my intuition telling me that this Assclown is no good for me. Do I walk away  when I noticed the red flags? Nah, that would be the smart move. Instead I held on putting myself through hell and that other person too.  That would be my good old stubbornness. Or my ego now that I think about it. My ego sure loves to be right.  My ego taught me hard lessons with relationships. Lessons I’m grateful for learning. Those lessons repeated themselves until I recognized my part and took responsibility for myself and my actions. Then the shift came, I started to be mindful of what part I played in the game of love. That’s when it was no longer a game. It was never a game to begin with. And all seized to stop. What I thought was true no longer was, my insecurities came to light and had to go through a dark period and be alone to find myself. It was my damn ego that kept me stuck and he had to go. Every relationship was broken except the one with myself. And that is where the song “baby don’t hurt me” stopped playing. I was hurting myself.